Are you resilient? Do you honestly look at the failures in your life and learn from them? When I work with corporations, the CEO or Vice President will often tell me that their people need motivation and I am hired to motivate, inspire and provide resources. What I often find is that people do not use their past or their failures as a source of motivation. I teach them to look at how we, as a society, motivate ourselves, which I disagree with; we look at our biography or resume and boast about all the things we have accomplished. I teach people to be proud of their success but use it to help their company and help other people.
I ask my clients not only to think of how they have helped people and their company, but also to look at their failures. Understand what lessons you have learned and how are you better because of them. I help people learn from their “un-biography” or those times that they did not get what they wanted. These are the lessons learned from failure and finding their passion will create their future.
We often think that we are great helpers to people when they tell us that they did not get the job they wanted or they did not win a contest and our conciliatory response is, “Oh, it’s fixed.” Most of the time, if we look deep enough, there is some reason that the job did not fit you or if you were not selected, that now was not the time to win. Resilient people learn, improve and move on.
I have learned that my failures have taught me more than my successes. When I became accountable and took responsibility, I began to achieve more and I worked smarter, not harder. The people who are resilient become their own advocate by valuing themselves, balancing their lives and not being too proud to ask for help and help others.